A few words about . . . Transformers

You know, there’s probably a pretty good 90-minute movie somewhere in this 144-minute, sprawling, schizophrenic, in-your-face technologically astounding train wreck of a film.  Then again, director Michael Bay isn’t exactly known for evoking complex emotions or portraying subtle nuances of character on screen.  This movie is a real mishmash of cornball (and unnecessary) humor, self-important dialogue, Independence Day clichés and a whole lot of robot-on-robot mayhem.

Transformers is a beauty to behold, but for all the chaos and carnage on display here, it’s remarkably uninvolving.  It’s a real Scarecrow/Tin Man (no pun intended) of a movie: no heart, no brain.

I’m glad my subwoofer (and the foundation of my house) survived the subsonic assault; I can’t say as much for my fillings, however.

There.  A "Few Words" entry that actually lives up to its name.  Actually, I could pick apart this movie for days if I wanted to, but it’s not worth the time.

Yeah, yeah, I know – you’re going to see it anyway, simply because it’s become quite a pop culture phenomenon and your curiosity’s piqued.  That was me, too.  Thankfully, one viewing was enough for me.  Perhaps it will be for you too.

6/10 (mostly due to ILM’s incredible effects work – they’ve got the Visual Effects Oscar nailed for sure – and Shia LeBeouf’s great screen presence)

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