All male cows do it

This is the funniest thing I’ve read in weeks. From Manohla Dargis’ review of the movie Barnyard in The New York Times:

You could say that the new 3-D animated film “Barnyard” is utterly strange, though if you were wearing a bushy mustache and a polka-dot bow tie, you might feel compelled to say that it’s udderly strange. Aimed at wee ones who like their colors bright and their stories elemental, this feature animation from the writer and director Steve Oedekerk centers on a community of barnyard animals who, under the distracted care of a vegan farmer, walk, talk and party down like human beings. On occasion a few of the male “cows,” as the film insists on calling them, hotwire the neighbor’s car, cranking the tunes with their mittenlike hooves.

The biggest party animal is Otis (voiced by Kevin James), the youngster who shirks the responsibility shouldered by his dad, Ben (Sam Elliott), the barnyard’s protector. Like most of the farm’s denizens, Otis walks on his back legs when the humans aren’t looking, which affords a fine view of his large pink udder with its four restless teats. The udder looks a lot like the base of a plumber’s plunger and the teats look exceptionally friendly, like chubby little fingers waving toodle-oo. They’re so friendly that it’s hard not to stare at them and wonder what would happen if you milked Otis, which proves both distracting and something of a relief, since there isn’t all that much else in this film to think about.

Wow, just thinking about that has me cracking up. You can read the rest of Dargis’ (brief) review here.

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